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Black Heart on the Table Short EP Vol. 1: a Warrior's Lament

by Chanell J. Wilson

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1.
BHOTT Intro: I'm Still Human 02:47
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I take my heart off my sleeve and put it back on the table This time it is black the color of my skin Pain bodies triggers I cry because I am still human I want to participate in life My Magic can’t keep fixing it Can’t keep shoring things up Can’t keep falsely holding things up I’ve got to deal with my humanity and all it’s forms all it’s forms You mammied me and I accepted it You bullied me and I allowed it You’ve trained me and branded me And I bleed while remaining complicit in my silence The reality is My Magic Can’t fix this Because I’m still human I know I’m magical But I am also human And I got to grieve I got to grieve I got to grieve I got to grieve This heart’s comes off my sleeve Warrior’s put their heart on the table when they have something to deal with and prove So I take my black heart off my sleeve and I put it on this table Cause although I am Magical I AM HUMAN And If I want humanity right My black heart has to heal My black heart has to heal My black heart has to heal My black heart has to heal LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I want to welcome you to the black heart on the table Experience Where you will watch this lady tear herself down and be built back up BHOT SHORT EP VOL 1 “A WARRIOR’s LAMENT”
2.
Light 03:41
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Light By Chanell J. Wilson, Stonewall "Stoneman" Towery, Hank "poetiqbeetz" Marshall Verse 1 Thought about giving up today But there was something I knew I had To give to this world someday So I gave life another chance Can’t let the pressure get me down Just got to fight and move on And win this race somehow And live my life so very strong Chorus Cause there’s a light at the end of this tunnel And I know I am going to reach it someday There is gold at the end of my rainbow And I know I am going to see it someday Verse 2 How can my body be full of life and soul feel as good as dead The agony and the pain and strife oh no I am not going to lay in that bed Dead man walking looking for a grave I think not I still got breath inside Just let me get one foot to the pave and I’m running running to the life Repeat Chorus Bridge Take them grave clothes off And get out the box I climb out this box Won’t be scared Repeat Chorus Ad Lib I’m gonna reach it I’m gonna reach it I’m gonna reach it someday I’m gonna see it I’m gonna reach it I’m gonna reach it someday
3.
Branded Labels (a Poem) 00:40
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Branded Labels a Poem My Black Heart is on the Table I be wearing Branded labels Feel like an oxen in the stable Want to live a dream like Aesop fable But rejections haunting me Blinding my eyes so I can’t see Pulling my lungs so I can’t breathe Making Me Assimilate to this Conditioning Branded Labels Mammy Disabled Woman Disgruntled Malicious Evil Dark Black Super Predator Baby Mama Minority Ghetto These insults are hurled at me while the opposition robs me of my humanity Branded Labels
4.
Bandaids on My Broken Heart (a spoken word poem) 01:38
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Band-Aids on My Broken Heart A Spoken Word Poem about my dual connection to Police Officers Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart I saw the Red Flag Didn't See No Dart Hoping you'll come through and play your part Protect & Serve yo’ is a lost art Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart It happened close to home at Fruitvale BART No time to process withdraw depart Cause you shot the gun on a false start (sigh) Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart Navigate for me this color chart I fit the description: what's your real intentions? Pull my grandmother over cause her windows are tinted (pause) My 12 year-old eyes see the barrel of a gun My grandmother's scream pierced my soul fear I wanted to run I turn to her and see her hands raised, Screaming, “Officer please don't take our life!" as he gazed The situation Two Black women- one elder, one youthful in a school uniform I could see the headline now OPD officer's Mother Daughter shot by same precinct He worked for… Wow You heard me right I stared down the barrel of gun because our car fit the description Do you hear my plight? Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart We’re a target now I see the dart This feels like an auction block. What's the going rate? Will we ever overcome it? Is this our fate? I’m done putting Band-Aids on my broken heart Protestant Protest I pick up my banner it’s time to march
5.
Black Heart on the Table 04:00
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(Black Love Conditioning) Black Heart on the Table words C.Wilson music Chanell J. Wilson & Hank “poetiqbeetz” Marshall ASCAP © 2018 Palm Palm Tree Publishing ASCAP PO BEETZ Publishing ASCAP for Black Heart on the Table EP Verse 1 This is my Life, My Song Conditioning, It's So Contrite, so Much Dysfunctioning What's the recipe / For This Season----ing I wonder what the color of my heart is, Is it the hue of my skin? Chorus This is my black heart on the table my shield rampart for the rhythm & blues this is my solemnly swear for the truth in you Oooh how I want to love cause my heart is overdue Post Chorus (but need to overcome this) Black Love Conditioning Black Love Conditioning Verse 2 This is my Cry My Cry for Freedom Can't be polite It's time for Healing Let's go to therapy / For This Toxi--city I can't fix the pain where your heart is/ but if you're willing I'll be your Kin Chorus This is my black heart on the table my shield rampart for the rhythm & blues this is my solemnly swear for the truth in you Oooh how I want to love cause my heart is overdue Post Chorus (but need to overcome this) Black Love Conditioning Black Love Conditioning 'Bridge D'amn this American Conditioning OOOH This appendage attachment to a dream Its a force that I reckon with This awful night mare um um Its a bitter moment I'm just waiting for the sweet End with chorus
6.
Prelude to Draw Near to Me (interlude) 00:57
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As I lay my Bhot Open and ready for examination I hear the same cry (I need to Overcome this) My heart longs for love dipped in the well of it yet I sleep in my armor Both nurture and protector My magic wasn’t built for this duality I know you’re out there and every time I make a sound you come closer to me So come on draw near
7.
Draw Near to Me 03:39
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a R&B/Soul tune about getting close to the one you love. lyrics Verse 1 You Make Me Nervous When You're Around And When I'm Not Near You I want to Frown I really like your I like your style It makes me want to live my life out loud Pre-Chorus You're so Amazing and My hearts Engaged by You I stand in awe of Your Presence You're So Commanding and Not so Reprimanding Yeah I stand in Awe of Your Presence Chorus/Hook Draw Me Near to You..... Draw Me Near to You.... Verse 2 You Really got something That calls me by name And when I'm not around you I just don't feel the same You impact my heart soul and mind You got me out of my element You make me believe that I can do almost anything Pre-Chorus You're so amazing and My heart is engaged by you I stand in awe of Your Presence You're so commanding and not so reprimanding yeah I stand in awe of your presence Chorus/Hook Draw Me Near to You Draw Me Near to You Draw Me Near to You Draw Me Near to You Spoken Words I know you're out there And everytime I make a sound you come closer to me So Just come on Draw Near Vamp/Bridge Draw Near to Me I'll Draw Near to You Cause I want to be wrapped in your love Repeat I just want to be wrapped I just want to be wrapped I just want to be wrapped in your love repeat

about

BHOTT Black Heart on the Table Short EP Vol 1. a Warrior's Lament is a Collection of Songs from Chanell J. Wilson's catalog exploring the theme of American Conditioning, Oppression, & Conditional Love towards and within the Black Community. It is an EP Project in 3 Parts Vol 1 & 2 Dealing with a Lament and Vol 3. Dealing with a Reckoning. Healing is messy and can also be seen as an act of war. The unlearning old habits, throwing out toxic behaviors, and then relearning new habits and boundaries. It is all process and a journey to wholeness, justice, and repair. Warriors put their heart on the table when they have something to deal with and/or prove. This work of healing requires both willingness and intestinal fortitude

credits

released February 5, 2021

Artist Chanell J.Wilson
Writers/Music Chanell J. Wilson, Hank "Poetiqbeetz" Marshall, Stonewall "Stoneman" Towery, & Roy Graves

Production Hank "Poetiqbeetz" Marshall for Tha Soup Kitchen Studios on Light, Black Heart on the Table, & Draw Near to Me


Executive Producer of Black Heart on the Table Short EP Vol. 1 a Warrior's Lament Chanell J. Wilson for Beaver-Wilson Girls & Son Media

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Chanell J. Wilson California

Chanell J. Wilson has been writing since she was thirteen & performing since she was three-years old. She has a Vocational Certificate in Recording Arts at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, CA.and is a member of ASCAP. Currently, she is preparing to release her Black Heart on the Table EP for February 2021. ... more

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