1. |
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I take my heart off my sleeve and put it back on the table
This time it is black the color of my skin
Pain bodies triggers
I cry because I am still human
I want to participate in life
My Magic can’t keep fixing it
Can’t keep shoring things up
Can’t keep falsely holding things up
I’ve got to deal with my humanity and all it’s forms all it’s forms
You mammied me and I accepted it
You bullied me and I allowed it
You’ve trained me and branded me
And I bleed while remaining complicit in my silence
The reality is My Magic Can’t fix this
Because I’m still human
I know I’m magical
But I am also human
And I got to grieve
I got to grieve
I got to grieve
I got to grieve
This heart’s comes off my sleeve
Warrior’s put their heart on the table when they have something to deal with and prove
So I take my black heart off my sleeve and I put it on this table
Cause although I am Magical
I AM HUMAN
And If I want humanity right
My black heart has to heal
My black heart has to heal
My black heart has to heal
My black heart has to heal
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
I want to welcome you to the black heart on the table Experience
Where you will watch this lady tear herself down and be built back up
BHOT SHORT EP VOL 1 “A WARRIOR’s LAMENT”
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2. |
Light
03:41
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Light
By Chanell J. Wilson, Stonewall "Stoneman" Towery, Hank "poetiqbeetz" Marshall
Verse 1
Thought about giving up today But there was something I knew I had
To give to this world someday So I gave life another chance
Can’t let the pressure get me down Just got to fight and move on
And win this race somehow And live my life so very strong
Chorus
Cause there’s a light at the end of this tunnel
And I know I am going to reach it someday
There is gold at the end of my rainbow
And I know I am going to see it someday
Verse 2
How can my body be full of life and soul feel as good as dead
The agony and the pain and strife oh no I am not going to lay in that bed
Dead man walking looking for a grave I think not I still got breath inside
Just let me get one foot to the pave and I’m running running to the life
Repeat Chorus
Bridge
Take them grave clothes off
And get out the box
I climb out this box
Won’t be scared
Repeat Chorus
Ad Lib
I’m gonna reach it
I’m gonna reach it
I’m gonna reach it someday
I’m gonna see it
I’m gonna reach it
I’m gonna reach it someday
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3. |
Branded Labels (a Poem)
00:40
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Branded Labels
a Poem
My Black Heart is on the Table
I be wearing Branded labels
Feel like an oxen in the stable
Want to live a dream like Aesop fable
But rejections haunting me
Blinding my eyes so I can’t see
Pulling my lungs so I can’t breathe
Making Me Assimilate to this Conditioning
Branded Labels
Mammy
Disabled
Woman
Disgruntled
Malicious
Evil
Dark
Black
Super Predator
Baby Mama
Minority
Ghetto
These insults are hurled at me while the opposition robs me of my humanity
Branded Labels
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4. |
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Band-Aids on My Broken Heart
A Spoken Word Poem about my dual connection to Police Officers
Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart
I saw the Red Flag Didn't See No Dart
Hoping you'll come through and play your part
Protect & Serve yo’ is a lost art
Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart
It happened close to home at Fruitvale BART
No time to process withdraw depart
Cause you shot the gun on a false start
(sigh)
Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart
Navigate for me this color chart
I fit the description: what's your real intentions?
Pull my grandmother over cause her windows are tinted (pause)
My 12 year-old eyes see the barrel of a gun
My grandmother's scream pierced my soul fear
I wanted to run
I turn to her and see her hands raised, Screaming,
“Officer please don't take our life!" as he gazed
The situation
Two Black women- one elder, one youthful in a school uniform
I could see the headline now
OPD officer's Mother Daughter shot by same precinct He worked for…
Wow
You heard me right
I stared down the barrel of gun because our car fit the description
Do you hear my plight?
Keep putting Band-Aids on my broken heart
We’re a target now I see the dart
This feels like an auction block. What's the going rate?
Will we ever overcome it? Is this our fate?
I’m done putting Band-Aids on my broken heart
Protestant Protest I pick up my banner it’s time to march
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5. |
Black Heart on the Table
04:00
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(Black Love Conditioning) Black Heart on the Table
words C.Wilson music Chanell J. Wilson & Hank “poetiqbeetz” Marshall ASCAP
© 2018 Palm Palm Tree Publishing ASCAP PO BEETZ Publishing ASCAP
for Black Heart on the Table EP
Verse 1
This is my Life, My Song Conditioning, It's So Contrite, so Much Dysfunctioning What's the recipe / For This Season----ing
I wonder what the color of my heart is, Is it the hue of my skin?
Chorus
This is my black heart on the table
my shield rampart for the rhythm & blues
this is my solemnly swear for the truth in you
Oooh how I want to love cause my heart is overdue
Post Chorus
(but need to overcome this) Black Love Conditioning Black Love Conditioning
Verse 2
This is my Cry My Cry for Freedom Can't be polite It's time for Healing
Let's go to therapy / For This Toxi--city
I can't fix the pain where your heart is/ but if you're willing I'll be your Kin
Chorus
This is my black heart on the table
my shield rampart for the rhythm & blues
this is my solemnly swear for the truth in you
Oooh how I want to love cause my heart is overdue
Post Chorus
(but need to overcome this) Black Love Conditioning Black Love Conditioning
'Bridge
D'amn this American Conditioning OOOH This appendage attachment to a dream
Its a force that I reckon with This awful night mare um um Its a bitter moment I'm just waiting for the sweet
End with chorus
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6. |
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As I lay my Bhot
Open and ready for examination
I hear the same cry (I need to Overcome this)
My heart longs for love dipped in the well of it
yet I sleep in my armor
Both nurture and protector
My magic wasn’t built for this duality
I know you’re out there and every time I make a sound you come closer to me
So come on draw near
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7. |
Draw Near to Me
03:39
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a R&B/Soul tune about getting close to the one you love.
lyrics
Verse 1
You Make Me Nervous When You're Around
And When I'm Not Near You I want to Frown
I really like your I like your style
It makes me want to live my life out loud
Pre-Chorus
You're so Amazing and My hearts Engaged by You
I stand in awe of Your Presence
You're So Commanding and Not so Reprimanding Yeah
I stand in Awe of Your Presence
Chorus/Hook
Draw Me Near to You.....
Draw Me Near to You....
Verse 2
You Really got something That calls me by name
And when I'm not around you I just don't feel the same
You impact my heart soul and mind You got me out of my element
You make me believe that I can do almost anything
Pre-Chorus
You're so amazing and My heart is engaged by you
I stand in awe of Your Presence
You're so commanding and not so reprimanding yeah
I stand in awe of your presence
Chorus/Hook
Draw Me Near to You
Draw Me Near to You
Draw Me Near to You
Draw Me Near to You
Spoken Words
I know you're out there
And everytime I make a sound you come closer to me
So Just come on Draw Near
Vamp/Bridge
Draw Near to Me I'll Draw Near to You Cause I want to be wrapped in your love
Repeat
I just want to be wrapped I just want to be wrapped
I just want to be wrapped in your love
repeat
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Chanell J. Wilson California
Chanell J. Wilson has been writing since she was thirteen & performing since she was three-years old. She has a Vocational Certificate in Recording Arts at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, CA.and is a member of ASCAP. Currently, she is preparing to release her Black Heart on the Table EP for February 2021. ... more
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